Hashtag... Lets be Real

The scent of Carmel candles burns off in the other room as I sit here with my cup of freshly made Arrow Press coffee and still slightly warm cheesecake covered with whipped topping. How come I'm pampering myself so? Well lets start with the fact that I am finally sitting down and having a chance to focus on the fact that we are over half way through this pregnancy. Yes, we are 21 weeks this week and I couldn't be more excited. When I was down with morning sickness and energy fatigue, all I could think about was getting to 20 weeks and being able to say I was half way there. To have half of it behind me and know for certain that I can totally make it all the way. Even though obviously... I don't have much of a choice. ;) I'll admit, after the first week or so of excitement wore off after we found out we were pregnant, and even before we found out, I was a little apprehensive as to how I was going to make it through 9 months of crappiness with some sanity as well as a thriving toddler who didn't turn into a little monster while Mommy was on the couch sick. I think every 2nd time Mom out there can probably relate. My biggest fear was that I would become lazy with disciplining and taking care of Liam throughout the day. Obviously I would keep him alive, feed him, etc. But I feared not feeding him the healthiest and most nutritious of foods because I couldn't stand being in the kitchen long enough to make something.

I feared him feeling alone and forgotten as I sat throwing up in the morning, with him crying outside the closed door. I feared him turning into a brat while I lay on the couch too tired and sick to get up and stop him from something he knew he wasn't supposed to be doing. I feared all of that and more. And so I strived from the very beginning to make sure there was good food available that didn't take much prep, that I still held and cuddled him and read him books. I comforted him after I was finished throwing up and could open the bathroom door again. I got off the couch when he was doing something wrong, even when it sent me to the bathroom, and the disciplining never changed. And after 20 weeks I think Liam has turned into more of a sweet and caring little boy than he ever would have been have I not been pregnant. He has learned to be more independant, a little more patient (though we still have some work on that ;)), he started giving me hugs when I came out of the bathroom after throwing up, and he made me laugh every. Single. Day. He got me off the couch and made sure I was taking care of myself as well as him. The past 20 weeks have been the hardest and the best. And now the morning sickness is behind me, and my energy is back up almost to what it used to be.

So that was me being real for just a second. I hope maybe it helped someone out there maybe feel like they weren't alone if they have felt the same way, or gave hope that it isn't really that hard.

I am also celebrating with my coffee and cheesecake because its Friday and the house is clean, pizza dough is rising, I've exercised, was crazy enough to brave the freezing cold to run and get more cream cheese for cheesecake that I was desperately craving, taken a shower, and the baby is sleeping. Err... was, I can hear him now playing with some stuffed animal in his bed or reading a book. ;)
Today started out as a hormone filled morning, not for any particular reason other then I was sleepy, a little crabby, and craving cheesecake that we didn't have cream cheese for. :P But then... It all turned around when I got pro active in turning it around. Sometimes I think it just takes a little effort from ourself to help turn a sour day around. Liam and I drove 5 minutes to Aldi to pick up cream cheese and graham crackers in the literal freezing temperatures outside. We ate lunch together and then exercised together while the cheesecake baked. There is nothing like a little encouragement to keep going then smelling a cheesecake baking and really really wanting to feel good about eating it... ;) And then we cleaned the whole house together. This has become a Friday afternoon tradition for him and I. He loves to help me sweep and he loves to run away from the vacuum.

He helped me clean up his toy room and get the rug vacuumed... mostly by running from one corner to the other thinking I was going to maybe skip whatever corner he was standing in... My silly boy. <3 This is our front room that Emil and I recently transitioned into what we call "play room". It holds all Liam's toys, a small sectional couch, and our tv with our wii system. I have really enjoyed having all the toys and clutter stay mostly contained throughout the day in this room. We normally will pick it up right before Daddy gets home and then again before bed time, because everyone knows as soon as Daddy gets home its major play time. ;) Liam enjoys running up to the big windows in this room and waiting for Emil to pull in the driveway. Such memories being made.

Then the 2 of us headed upstairs to vacuum and clean up his bedroom, grab some dirty laundry, dust, and put Liam down for a nap. We are working on our little girl's room, and Liam loves to go in there and gently touch all of the little things... 

Emil will be traveling for 5 days here soon and my goal is to transform this room into the nursery. The cradle was hand made by a friend of Emil's grandparents. Grandpa and Grandma had it made for Emil's future kids before he was even married. 

I will be making some curtains (I'm thinking pink...) as well as making a repurposed pallet sign that I will white wash and paint a quote on to hang above her cradle. We will move the rocking chair in here and probably move my hope chest out and get a small dresser for her too. We will transfer the changing table topper in here at some point too. Can't wait to get started on it here soon and put together a post about it!! 

After cleaning and vacuuming Liam's room it was the master bedroom's turn. Things had begun to stack up over the holidays and it needed a good dusting and vacuuming. 

I thought that I would end with a picture of the envelope book I made for Emil for Christmas. I had seen something similar at a cute little book shop down town Saint Louis, and was inspired! So I looked up a few tutorials and put one together myself. The idea is to have any number of envelopes bound together in a book fashion, and then write letters filling the envelopes with dates or occasions when the letters are to be opened. I've seen them done for lovers, for future babies, growing toddler, etc. I thought it was a fantastic idea and would love to make one for both of my little ones and fill with letters for them to read throughout their lives as they grow up. =D 

And I will leave you with my 21 week baby bump picture. We're beginning to actually show in all my clothes and I am very excited about the coming 19 weeks as we await our little girl's arrival! <3