My baby turned 4 months old on Saturday! He is growing up and learning new things so fast! In some ways time has simply flown by, and in other ways its crazy to think that this silly little boy hasn't been in our lives for longer. Was there really life before him?
Being a Mom has changed me in some pretty major ways. My husband and I like to joke that we thought we were selfish when we got married... and then we had a baby and entered into a whole new category of selfishness. The very first week after Liam was born we were in baby heaven. He was all ours and the love we had for him was something we had never felt before! But then Emil went back to work and I began to figure out a new routine for my new baby and I at home. It was fun and exhausting at the same time. No longer could I do anything I wanted whenever I wanted to do it! Even showering became a juggling event. Thankfully Liam loves the sound of water, so I would make sure he was fed and changed and then I would put him in his reclining bouncy seat, in the bathroom, and enjoy a nice warm shower. I'd like to say that he was perfect every single time and never whined or cried for me to finish up already and get back to him, because it wasn't like that. There were mornings, however, that he would let me soak up the shower and he would sit contently listening to me talk to him and then would give me a great big smile when I finished and would pick him up again. These days made it all worth it.
Lunch was the hardest there for a while... For some reason whenever I would even start to get my lunch ready he would begin fussing and then by the time I was ready to eat he would be crying for me to feed him too. No matter what time lunch was. The little stinker... But Mommy obliged, even as I watched my nice warm lunch grow colder by the minute.
Then there was dinner time. The time Emil and I probably enjoyed the most together before he was born. But now... now there were 3 of us. For about the first 2 months solid we took turns eating. Normally he would eat while I fed Liam, then he would burp Liam while I ate, then I would take Liam again so Emil could possibly get seconds, and then Emil would take a while with him, and so on and so forth. Liam didn't have a solid bed time yet and there were nights that we would be up at 10:00 still trying to keep him happy. And he was such a sweet and easy baby, all things considered. I can't say how many NCIS episodes we watched as we took turns walking back and forth across the living room with Liam.... And then one day, all at once it seemed, we didn't have to pace back and forth with him... We didn't have to stay up till 10:00pm... We didn't even have to take turns eating Every. Single. Night. Suddenly he was able to sit in his bumbo or high chair during dinner and Emil and I were able to enjoy eating together - at the same time! And we worked on getting him to have a consistent bed time, and were thrilled to work it down to 7:15ish. Now we have personal time together again! All of the sudden we felt alive, vs just surviving. 
Liam has always been a relatively good sleeper... In his newborn stage he would be up 4-5 times a night. Then as his he grew a bit more he would only get up 2-3 times a night. I worked with him for a few weeks and now we have worked it down to just 1 feeding a night. There are even nights where he sleeps 12 hours straight! Those are the best. Seriously. I've been asked how I've "trained" him to get down to 1 feeding a night, and I can't really take that much credit. Liam really is just a good night time sleeper. When he would get up at Midnight for his first feeding, and instead of picking him up from his co-sleeper (positioned right next to my side of the bed), I would rub his back and whisper something sweet to him. He would settle down and go back to sleep within 5 minutes normally. This told me that he was waking up for comfort more than because he wanted milk. I did this for maybe 2 weeks before he stopped getting up altogether at midnight. Now we take him upstairs at 7:15pm, get him in his pajamas, change his diaper, feed him, and either Emil or I will read him a book or Emil will do family devotions, if we hadn't done them earlier. Then its into bed for Liam. I don't have to rock him to sleep before I put him in bed anymore, although there are nights where he will fall asleep while I rock him and Emil is reading Bible. Ever since 2 1/2 months, Liam has fallen asleep better and faster on his own in his crib. And now that Liam is in his own bedroom, we will give him kisses and tuck him in with his teddy bear and his little wooden car. Normally we will hear him playing on the baby monitor before he drifts off to sleep. <3 Oh my heart. I dream feed him at 9:15ish before Emil and I head to bed, and then he normally gets up around 3:00am to eat and then not again until 7:00 when Emil and I start moving around.
I don't want to make it sound like Liam is a perfect sleeper. He still goes through growth spurts, and last week he had a cold, so he did have a few rougher nights. Not Every. Single. Night is exactly like this. But that's the joy of children. When they have bad days or nights, I know that there is always tomorrow for a better day. Liam has taught me Grace for the days I just don't want to deal with anything, patience during the times he doesn't know what he wants and I'm trying everything, perseverance to keep going even when I am exhausted or just mentally worn, humility when I just need to ask for help (something that doesn't come easy for me), he has taught me how to be a Mom and has helped me to put others first. And when I get frustrated or wrapped up in a "hard" moment, he has taught me to just breath and realize that life moves on.
This little boy has stolen my heart <3 And multiplied my love.
My baby has been working on his balance while sitting! We're getting there, he still can't do it very long by himself, but its a start!
I know its not the most amazing picture, but this week I've hit some pretty exciting baby weight weight loss goals! It hasn't been as "easy" as I thought it would be... or maybe just not as "fast" as I had hoped. But I'm almost to my goal and pretty excited!!
I hope that this little peak into Liam's life so far and my postpartum months has been inspiring for some. I remember being pregnant and feeling like I was going to feel like that forever and never again feel like myself. Its not true! You can feel normal again after having a baby. Your body may never look quite the same, but be forgiving of yourself, I mean you just "grew" a baby inside of you! To every woman out there who has given birth; you rock.
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